I am really impressed with the way that “the Right” has marketed themselves since the late 1980s. With increasing skill and effectiveness, “the Right” has waged two campaigns, one subtle and one extremely aggressive, to convince us that “the Left” is a cabal out to destroy our beloved America. What is so fascinating about this is that while the ideas of conspiracies are fallacy 99% of the time, in this case there is a calculated marketing campaign on two fronts to change and warp public perception…but it certainly isn’t “the Left”. Nancy Pelosi, James Carville, and Harry Reid couldn’t agree on how to change a tire much less how to erode family values, turn your kids gay, or make Jesus wear a turban.
The most skillful aspect of this marketing plan executed by “the Right” has been the subtle change in language. If you can control the labels for a thing, you can significantly influence the broader populace on the topic as well. (For example, if you support a woman’s right to choose to carry a child to full term or not, you aren’t pro-choice you are pro-abortion. If you do not support their right to make that choice, you are not anti-choice, you are pro-life. Oddly enough, if you are pro-life that doesn’t often correlate to your being against the death penalty but I digress.)
But Mr Blissful, are you openly taking a stance on abortion and the death penalty? How dare you? Calm yourself, gentle reader…I promise to tread very lightly on the topic for now. (Though I am sure my political beliefs will spill over eventually like a BP oil well.)
Today, I opened my mailbox and was greeted by a large and weighty envelope from Sean Hannity. He was kind enough to include a giant picture of his giant head on the front so I knew how important the letter was. Now I love a good train wreck, so I was eager to open this baby up, but I must admit a small bias before opening the letter. At least two adult oak trees gave up their oxygen-granting lives to print this monstrous piece of mail that it is clear was sent to every home in America that Mr. Hannity could get into his database. (*shudder* Sean Hannity knows where I live.)
As I opened the envelope, I was struck by its contents. In a style which evoked US census or IRS letterhead, it was a “2010 National Survey” and it was due by August 6th. Crap, I need to work fast. You might expect that this survey was an attempt to ask my opinion on important topics central to the performance of the current government leaders or perhaps an attempt to get my two cents on topics important to Mr Hannity. Well, you might be surprised. It was in fact a survey to find out if I agree with Mr. Hannity on the “assault on American Liberty” and the “purpose of an Education”. Wow. Heady topics and clearly neither is already weighted by the manner of phrasing in the question.
I won’t type in the whole letter (though perhaps had Mr. Hannity gone for an online survey we could have avoided mass oak tree genocide) but I will paraphrase to say that apparently he is concerned that people in government not only hate the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States of America but that they have never even read them. (I often wonder if anyone in American politics have read those lovely documents.) He then asks for me to validate that “the Left” has poisoned America’s “so-called” finest universities. Allow me to demonstrate his non-leading, non-biased question structure.
“6. Some say the Left has succeeded in gaining power in America far beyond its level of support in the electorate because, starting in the 1960s, the Left had a concentrated strategy to control education in America, including America’s colleges and universities, and has succeeded.”
“Do you generally agree or disagree with this assessment?”
Well thank heavens this question was carefully constructed as to elicit my position the quality of education and not put me in a corner where the only answer I can provide if I love America is the one he wants me to provide. I mean had I been able to perhaps just write in my answer, I might have talked about the qualifications of teachers, the salary level of said professionals, and the structure of industrial workforce philosophy that is the foundation of the public education system and how that foundation doesn’t apply when all of the industrial jobs have moved to Eastern Europe, China, and South America.
Mr. Hannity, may I call you Sean? Do you honestly think that “starting in the 1960s, the Left had a concentrated strategy to control education in America”? Really. Have you seen what so-called “liberals” (another beautifully crafted label, by the way, and a topic for another day) were doing in the 1960s? They were gathering in large fields, stripping off their clothes, exposing their seriously ungroomed bodies, dropping acid, and screwing anything that didn’t have a chastity belt. Yes, you dirty hippies, I mean everything. Assuming however, that a super elite, genius IQ, cabal of Illuminati were on the side of “the Left” and skipped Woodstock, let’s review the work of the Democratic Party leadership during the 1960s. They were committed to combating Communism, so committed in fact that they almost started a nuclear war with Russia over Cuba, and sent over 58,000 US teenagers and young men to their deaths in Vietnam. That war (don’t you dare call it a conflict when we lost 58,000+) was escalated by John Kennedy and Lyndon Johnson. The current schism between “the Left” and “the Right” on topics related to family values and religion didn’t really start until the 1980s. Oh my God, now I get it…”the Left” went back in time like Marty McFly and started steering Harvard towards hating America. Okay, now that makes sense.
Well, as I was not able to complete the survey without fear my answers could somehow be construed as my endorsement of Mr. Hannity’s desire to slaughter gay baby seals so that he can use their blood as ink in his poison pen, I opted to post my position here.
I so agree more people should read the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States. I also think a lot more people should read the Bible, the Qur’an, and various recorded stories from the Buddhist and Hindu traditions. Knowledge is power.
I don’t think Harvard hates Americans. I also don’t think Mr. Hannity is going to improve the state of America by getting me to donate to his pet college (Hillsdale). Oh yes, you see, the survey was in fact a ruse. The last page of that oak tree killing letter was a plea to donate to a proper college, Hillsdale. Go back to Mount Doom, Hannity, or else me and Frodo are going to kick your ass.
What I was listening to while posting today:
